Making Easy Things Part 7

Feb 18

We had to rip up part of the carpet in my basement because of water damage that my kids caused. For some reason I can’t explain, I occasionally I imagine taking a pickaxe to the exposed concrete floor. I would crack through to the gravel and clay below. I imagine working away at this absurd project a little bit every night for months on end until I have hollowed out a secret, second cellar. I would take extra special care to ensure the house does not collapse on top of me. I would finish the basement with concrete and zig-zagging neon lights. Here in my second cellar I would collect arcade boxes and video game systems from my youth.

Other times I imagine kicking through the unused shower stall in our en suite bathroom and building a staircase up to the attic space of our home. I would then add floorboards, insulation and drywall to slowly convert this area into a cramped but usable musical playground.
Again, the idea is entirely unrealistic given the logistics of that attic crawlspace. I should really focus my attention on repairing the hellmouth in my front hallway ceiling and organizing my disastrous garage.

I regularly fantasize about such large, entirely impractical construction projects. On one hand, this serves as a kind of creative outlet for me when I’m trying to function in suburban middle classness but I think this kind of pipe-dreaming might be preventing me from being an effective handyperson around the house. As I project my untethered urges onto our nice but imperfect home, I temporarily evade the tangly garden of responsibilities one must constantly tend in order to maintain the appearance of suburban respectability.